I once attended a promotion ceremony of a very accomplished Chaplain. It was not his accomplishments that impressed me but the genuine way he attributed all his success to the mentorship he received. He acknowledged that, over the years of his life, he received a helping hand from leaders, fellow Chaplains and 56Ms, and especially his grandmother who raised him right, despite his circumstances. From his message I realized that, if I wanted to succeed, I had better identify some good mentors for the journey ahead.

MENTORSHIP MISCONCEPTIONS

Even Luke Skywalker needed a mentor. He had many opinions about what his training should look like and what a mentor even looks like. But before he could truly train, he needed to have a gut check about what mentorship looked like. The following are some MISCONCEPTIONS about Mentorship that need to be addressed:

• There is one perfect mentor out there for me
• I need to formally ask someone to be a mentor
• Mentoring is about me

The One PERFECT Mentor

Saints are merely ones who know their imperfections are covered by the One who is Perfect.

Yea right. There used to be this perfect mentor I had in my mind. He was incredibly accomplished in multiple fields and yet humble, attentive to the details of my life while being a go-getting visionary, just a to name a few. But in all my years, I have never found anyone who perfectly matched the often vague idea of what a mentor should be. Every mentor I have looked up to has turned out to be a disappointment in one way or another. But guess what? All of humanity, including you, has disappointed someone at sometime. Saints are merely ones who know their imperfections are covered by the One who is Perfect.

Over the years, I realized that there are many mentors of all shapes and sizes from many sources to include literary mentors, celebrities, and even wise grandmothers. They were and are all imperfect mentors but this does not mean they have nothing to teach us. I have learned a great deal from Pastors and Chaplains often who operate from a different theological framework from my own. I have learned things from my Religious Affairs Specialist to include humility, holding my tongue, and work ethic. Do not limit the sources of legitimate mentors nor the number of mentors you need. Even babies have incredible truths to teach us, having recently come from the Creator.

Will You Be My Mentor?

I used to believe that mentorship was a formal relationship of a person who took me under their wing and met every Tuesday for coffee and counsel. Once you realize that you do not have to have a formal ceremony to identify a mentor the sooner you realize that you probably have had several mentors throughout your life, you just never identified them as such.

If you ask someone to be your mentor, you have already set that mentorship up for failure. The standard is too high both for the mentor and for the expectations of the mentoring sessions. Plus, it makes the potential relationship or even friendship to become suddenly awkward. Instead, just make mental notes about who your mentors are and appreciate the lessons you learn from watching what you admire about them. Develop a relationship with them and take them out for coffee. Eventually, this naturally becomes mentorship sessions without putting on the official Mentorship Stamp of Approval.

Mentoring is About Me!

There are times in life when someone identifies your potential and decides to invest into you. If you find this, great! But remember the incredible humility it takes for someone to stop navel gazing for a moment to intentionally invest in another person’s life. Mentoring is about relationships which means that it is a two-way street of mutual edification and encouragement.

None of us get anywhere without the aid from others. The self-made man is a myth. No one has ever pulled herself up by her own bootstraps. We have come to a better place because someone has paved the way before us. The sooner we understand this the quicker we will realize that we are responsible to pay mentorship forward and uplift those coming behind you. Mentorship is not about you. It is about the relationships you build around you and the path you set for others to follow after you.

In the end, Luke Skywalker had many mentors from Yoda and Obi Wan to Han Solo and even Darth Vader himself. We are all on a journey of life and have learned many lessons on life’s road. Why not glean from mentor counselors and advisors who have a different perspective on life than you? Who knows, learn a thing or two, you might. Yesssss.